Helen's Day - A Diary of An Anxiety Sufferer Part 2

Oct 05, 2023

As Helen leaves the school gates and heads towards her office, her anxiety doesn't subside; it morphs into a different set of concerns and anxieties.
Internally, her mind continues to replay the interactions with the other parents at the school gate. She second-guesses every word she spoke and every facial expression she made. Anxiety tells her that she must have said something wrong, that they probably think she's odd or awkward. The fear of social judgment lingers, making her heart race and her chest feel even tighter.
Physically, her body is in a state of tension. Her shoulders are hunched, and she clenches her jaw unconsciously. Her hands are cold and clammy, and she can feel her heart pounding in her chest. These physical symptoms are hard to conceal, and she worries that her colleagues at work might notice her distress.
Outwardly, Helen tries to maintain a facade of composure. She forces a smile and exchanges polite greetings with her co-workers as she enters the office. She knows that they can't see the turmoil inside, but she feels like everyone is watching her, scrutinizing her every move. Her attempts at small talk with her colleagues feel forced, and she can't help but worry that she's coming across as distant or disinterested.

anxiety morning

The Commute to Work

The commute to work is one of the most challenging parts of Helen's day. She takes public transportation, which can be crowded and overwhelming. She tries to find a seat or a quiet corner to stand in, but it's not always possible. She often feels like everyone is looking at her and judging her, even though she knows it's not true.

public transportation

The Workday

As she sits down at her desk, her mind continues to race. She replays the conversations from the school gate in her head, analysing every detail. Anxiety tells her that she's probably made a bad impression, and she worries that her colleagues will think less of her because of it. The thought of having to interact with them throughout the day fills her with dread.
Helen tries to focus on her work, but concentration is elusive. The anxious thoughts swirl in her mind, making it difficult to be productive. She checks her emails repeatedly, obsessively ensuring that she hasn't made any mistakes. Doubt and self-criticism plague her thoughts.
As the workday progresses, Helen's anxiety remains a constant companion. She finds herself avoiding social interactions as much as possible, retreating to her desk during breaks to avoid the break-room chatter. Her physical symptoms persist, and she continues to battle the nagging fear that she doesn't fit in at work either.
Helen's journey through the day is a challenging one, marked by internal turmoil and physical discomfort. Her anxiety continues to affect her interactions with others, making it a constant struggle to navigate both her personal and professional life. Despite these challenges, she remains determined to face each day with courage, hoping that one day her anxiety will loosen its grip, and she can find some peace and confidence in her daily routine.

workday

Lunchtime

During lunchtime, Helen likes to take a walk outside to get some fresh air and clear her mind. She finds that being in nature helps her feel more relaxed and less anxious. She also tries to eat healthy foods that will give her energy and boost her mood.

lunchtime

The Afternoon Slump

In the afternoon, Helen often experiences an energy slump. She feels tired and unmotivated, which can make her anxiety worse. She tries to stay hydrated and take short breaks to stretch and move around. During Helen's mindfulness her boss, a seemingly calm super high flyer manager, wants her to do some work that is not normally Helen's job. The task is urgent and important and the manager oblivious to Helen's inner turmoil expects her to complete the task quickly and efficiently..... to be continued....

afternoon slump


end of day